BREAKING: Barack Refuses To Bail Malia Out Of Jail

 

Former first daughter Malia Obama, who can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble, made a move Friday that her father won’t help her out with. It seems that after a night of drinking with her hoodlum thug friends in New York, Malia woke up in a house being raided by Homeland Security.

The apartment had been under investigation as a possible terrorist cell. After the raid, Homeland said while there was no terrorist activity found, there was evidence of terrorist support in the form of fake IDs and passports. Everyone arrested will be added to the no-fly list, including Malia Obama.

 

Bail has set for each defendant, with the lowest set for Obama at $10K. The highest was for ringleader Malstaf Humeini, who was charged with aiding and abetting known terrorists. His bail was set at $3 million.

The Obama family hasn’t responded to requests for comment other than to say Malia will have to wait until her arraignment to go free. Reports from the paparazzi covering the family say there was a lot of yelling and at one point Michelle may have thrown a lamp.